There are many churches who are currently wrestling with what to do about the growing number of LGBTQ in their community. Some of these churches believe that being gay is a choice. Others say it’s not. Some of them believe that being gay is a sin. Other say it’s not. But in my tradition almost all of them agree that gay sex, even within a long-term monogamous relationship**, is sinful.
Okay. Let’s suppose it is. What should our churches do about the gays in their midst?
Inspired by the ethic of Jesus, who asks us to work on the plank in our own eye before trying to remove the gay speck in that gay dude’s eye, I have created a basic checklist for when it seems legitimate to single out a gay person in your church and tell them they have to repent or leave, thereby making them feel like they don’t belong or are a second-class citizen in your church:
As a church, we have asked every unmarried couple in our congregation if they are having sex. If so, we must ask them to stop. If they refuse, we must subject them to “church discipline” that leads to either repentance or excommunication or they leave on their own as a result of our passive-aggressive behavior toward them as we question whether or not they are even Christian.
As a church, we have looked over every person’s checkbook to see if they are greedy and/or lovers of money. If so, we must ask them to agree to a plan to be more generous. If they refuse, we must subject them to “church discipline” that leads to either repentance or excommunication or they leave on their own as a result of our passive-aggressive behavior toward them as we question whether or not they are even Christian..
As a church, we have looked at every male’s computer to see if they have watched porn in the past month. If they have, we must ask them to agree to accountability and a password protected internet. And give their mothers & wives the password. If they refuse, we must “love the sinner but hate the sin,” that is, subject them to “church discipline” that leads to either repentance or excommunication or they leave on their own as a result of our passive-aggressive behavior toward them as we question whether or not they are even Christian..
As a church, we have looked at every member of the congregation’s schedule to determine what idols are in their lives, the things that are more important than God. If they have even one, we must stone them (sorry, Old Testament) remind them that they “will not inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Cor. 6:9-10). If they refuse to repent, we must subject them to “church discipline” that leads to either repentance or excommunication or they leave on their own as a result of our passive-aggressive behavior toward them as we question whether or not they are even Christian..
As a church, we have looked into our own hearts to see if we are being judgmental and hypocritical, discriminating against sins that are “obvious” and/or do not affect us (the speck) while not taking seriously the sins that do (the plank).
If we say every sin is the same, perhaps our churches should start acting like it in the way they treat people.
*This is a revision of a previous post
**Or as we heteros call this type of relationship, “marriage.”